“There is a time for everything, and a season for everything under the sun”
-Ecclesiastes 3:1
There are beginnings and endings to every stage in life. Through out college, I have been learning this over and over. We begin and end and begin again. I am learning that there is an appropriate time for each season and step.
The Bible says that there is a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to keep and a time to throw away; a time to tear and a time to mend. This verse came to my mind as I drove back up to Tallahassee. I was feeling pretty introspective as a thought began to reverberate around in my head. Yes, some seasons are beginning and some are ending…
But what about the times when I can’t tell which is which?
How do I know when it’s time to keep or time to throw away? How do I know when to tear down and when to mend?
Sometimes, and for me, now is one of those times, a season in life is not what it seems. An end can feel like a beginning, or more often, a beginning can feel like an end.
The end of college, the end of a job, the end of a relationship or even the end of a dream; it can feel like the end. But it’s really just the beginning of something new. That’s where I am now. I’m wondering, is this the end of a season? Or the beginning of something altogether different? And how, O how, do I gain the wisdom to know the difference?
Now, my prayer is like that of the Psalmist:
“Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom”
-Psalm 90:12
Teach us, God, to know the difference.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Wrapping things up...
I have finally come to the end of what, I’m sure, will be one of the most memorable summers of my life. Nashville, you have been everything I could have asked for.
Three months have passed since I (actually, my mom… thanks, Mom!) packed up everything in Tallahassee, bid farewell to Comfortable, and said Hello to the great unknown. My summer in Nashville had been over a year in the making. From the crazy God-story of meeting Nancy Alcorn, to the application process and the preparation, to the actually event of moving out, tying up loose ends and then actually going: These three months did not come easy.
And I had high hopes about my summer in Nashville. If you had asked me about my goals for the summer, I would have had a couple of different things to mention. For starters, I was SURE that I was going to meet famous people everywhere. I mean, tons of famous musicians hang out in Nashville! Who’s to say that they won’t be hanging out around me? Well, I did meet some pretty awesome musicians, mostly because of Stacie’s family and their connections to the music industry. And thanks to Daniel, I got to hang out with people that, I’m sure, will be famous in a couple years! However, Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman still remain to be seen.
Another of my goals was to make some friends in the Nashville area. I definitely think I have accomplished that one. I’ve strengthened a lot of friendships with people from high school and college that live up here, and also made some great friends with people from Mercy Ministries, LifeWay and my Small Group Bible Study. What a huge blessing to know that God went ahead of me to provide some great friends to be an encouragement to me during this time. I pray these friendships will continue!
These were just two of my goals for the summer. Some others include: seeing tons of live music, getting a good feel for the lay out of the city, finding a church that I like… the list could go on. But the number one goal I had for this summer was one that held utmost importance to me.
I needed to hear from God.
I needed to know if Nashville or Mercy Ministries was in the next step of my life. I needed to know if God was going to lead me to Grad school or to pursue counseling. As I asked these things, more and more questions came into my mind. These questions led to really seeking God and my experience here became about more than just discovering my future. It became about discovering more of the character of God.
I thought I knew what I was getting myself into when I started at Mercy. I mean, I knew the things that these girls dealt with, and I had read about the power of Christ to redeem and heal them.
It became real when I sat and listened to a girl- younger than me- recount the horror of what she had been through. She didn’t tell her story with a tone of self pity or with a flare for the dramatic. She simply told it. It ended with the power of God that had moved in her life as she learned for the first time that she was a beloved Child of the Most High King. She was healed, a new creation in Christ.
Wow. I barely made it through her testimony without losing it. I tried with all I had to be professional, mature. I knew that there were bad things and bad people in the world. How childish it would be to lose it now. But her story rocked me to the core. I spent time just grieving the innocence that was stolen from these girls. And I questioned God.
How could You let this happen to her? I asked.
Why do I get to live free from the things that haunted them?
Are You paying attention to what is going on down here?
I don’t think the answer comes neatly wrapped in a twenty minute Sunday school lesson. But I know that these are the very questions that the girls work through in their counseling sessions. And God isn’t afraid to face them. The truth- the very hard, painful truth- is that there is a lot of sin in the world. Sometimes people hurt others, purposeful or not, it’s just the state of the world.
Grappling with this has been no small feat for me. I know from experience and from scripture that God is good. He is. Not only is it an attribute, but it is a defining characteristic. It’s who he is. The Enemy wants me to reject this truth. But without it, nothing in the Universe or my life makes any sense.
So when I mourn for the broken, I have to know that God hurts even more. His heart is for justice, and he is near to the broken-hearted. The work done at Mercy is so near to the heart of Father God. There is comfort in that fact.
I got to attend a graduation one day. There were about five young women that were moving on from Mercy; Beginning the rest of their lives in the newness and confidence of their freedom in Christ. At every graduation, the girls recite a statement of faith. They say a lot of great things, but one sentence attached itself to my heart.
Only God knows why things happen as they do.
As a human, I just cannot know all of the answers. But by talking with a lot of people and praying though a lot hard things, I am coming to a place of submission to God in this. We just can’t know. But as a wise woman recently told me, we can walk in hope and live as vessels of God’s healing. I pray that among the many other things I may be in this life, I would always be a vessel of God’s healing.
So as I look back over my summer, and especially this last week, I would say that my prayer and main goal of this summer has been met. I have heard from God in ways that were totally unexpected. I sang to God, prayed to God, cried to God and yelled at Him. And he held me, stretched me, taught me and encouraged me through it all.
Three months have passed since I (actually, my mom… thanks, Mom!) packed up everything in Tallahassee, bid farewell to Comfortable, and said Hello to the great unknown. My summer in Nashville had been over a year in the making. From the crazy God-story of meeting Nancy Alcorn, to the application process and the preparation, to the actually event of moving out, tying up loose ends and then actually going: These three months did not come easy.
And I had high hopes about my summer in Nashville. If you had asked me about my goals for the summer, I would have had a couple of different things to mention. For starters, I was SURE that I was going to meet famous people everywhere. I mean, tons of famous musicians hang out in Nashville! Who’s to say that they won’t be hanging out around me? Well, I did meet some pretty awesome musicians, mostly because of Stacie’s family and their connections to the music industry. And thanks to Daniel, I got to hang out with people that, I’m sure, will be famous in a couple years! However, Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman still remain to be seen.
Another of my goals was to make some friends in the Nashville area. I definitely think I have accomplished that one. I’ve strengthened a lot of friendships with people from high school and college that live up here, and also made some great friends with people from Mercy Ministries, LifeWay and my Small Group Bible Study. What a huge blessing to know that God went ahead of me to provide some great friends to be an encouragement to me during this time. I pray these friendships will continue!
These were just two of my goals for the summer. Some others include: seeing tons of live music, getting a good feel for the lay out of the city, finding a church that I like… the list could go on. But the number one goal I had for this summer was one that held utmost importance to me.
I needed to hear from God.
I needed to know if Nashville or Mercy Ministries was in the next step of my life. I needed to know if God was going to lead me to Grad school or to pursue counseling. As I asked these things, more and more questions came into my mind. These questions led to really seeking God and my experience here became about more than just discovering my future. It became about discovering more of the character of God.
I thought I knew what I was getting myself into when I started at Mercy. I mean, I knew the things that these girls dealt with, and I had read about the power of Christ to redeem and heal them.
It became real when I sat and listened to a girl- younger than me- recount the horror of what she had been through. She didn’t tell her story with a tone of self pity or with a flare for the dramatic. She simply told it. It ended with the power of God that had moved in her life as she learned for the first time that she was a beloved Child of the Most High King. She was healed, a new creation in Christ.
Wow. I barely made it through her testimony without losing it. I tried with all I had to be professional, mature. I knew that there were bad things and bad people in the world. How childish it would be to lose it now. But her story rocked me to the core. I spent time just grieving the innocence that was stolen from these girls. And I questioned God.
How could You let this happen to her? I asked.
Why do I get to live free from the things that haunted them?
Are You paying attention to what is going on down here?
I don’t think the answer comes neatly wrapped in a twenty minute Sunday school lesson. But I know that these are the very questions that the girls work through in their counseling sessions. And God isn’t afraid to face them. The truth- the very hard, painful truth- is that there is a lot of sin in the world. Sometimes people hurt others, purposeful or not, it’s just the state of the world.
Grappling with this has been no small feat for me. I know from experience and from scripture that God is good. He is. Not only is it an attribute, but it is a defining characteristic. It’s who he is. The Enemy wants me to reject this truth. But without it, nothing in the Universe or my life makes any sense.
So when I mourn for the broken, I have to know that God hurts even more. His heart is for justice, and he is near to the broken-hearted. The work done at Mercy is so near to the heart of Father God. There is comfort in that fact.
I got to attend a graduation one day. There were about five young women that were moving on from Mercy; Beginning the rest of their lives in the newness and confidence of their freedom in Christ. At every graduation, the girls recite a statement of faith. They say a lot of great things, but one sentence attached itself to my heart.
Only God knows why things happen as they do.
As a human, I just cannot know all of the answers. But by talking with a lot of people and praying though a lot hard things, I am coming to a place of submission to God in this. We just can’t know. But as a wise woman recently told me, we can walk in hope and live as vessels of God’s healing. I pray that among the many other things I may be in this life, I would always be a vessel of God’s healing.
So as I look back over my summer, and especially this last week, I would say that my prayer and main goal of this summer has been met. I have heard from God in ways that were totally unexpected. I sang to God, prayed to God, cried to God and yelled at Him. And he held me, stretched me, taught me and encouraged me through it all.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Dana's-Day-Trip
I just got back to the cabin after an awesome day working at Mercy.
I got to tag a long with our Director of Development to a conference on social media for Pastors and church leaders. The conference was in Birmingham, Alabama, and we all know I love a good road trip. And to say the least, this was a very good road trip!
Whitney and I started the day (very early) with a strong cup of coffee and a car loaded FULL of books to give away at the conference. The thing that made the conference so awesome was that the type of church represented was exactly the type that would be interested in learning about Mercy. The people there were learning how to use social media to reach a young generation immersed (and enmeshed?) in technology. This young generation needs a church that is willing to meet them where they are and use new techniques to teach the timeless truths about who Christ is. So exciting to see a group of leaders with hearts for Christ engaging the culture!
So many people came up to our booth today wanting to know how a program with our level of results could operate without accepting government money... or how girls with such extreme experiences could really be healed and redeemed... or how THEY could get involved. The fact that every person there represented a new, thriving, growing church was so exciting. It was great to share the vision and mission of Mercy with so many people, eager to learn. We gave out dozens of books based on the counseling model used at Mercy. The books will be used at churches around the U.S. to counsel girls who struggle with eating disorders, self harm, addictions and sexual abuse. I know that God is going to move in some amazing ways through the resources shared today.
And plus, it was a total blast to network with church leaders from all over who have such a passion to see the church really come together and be the body of Christ. Wow!
It was also great for me to get to spend a ton of time talking with and learning from Whitney. I value so much her (and everyone at Mercy's) willingness to teach me things... I mean, from the basics of, "How many scoops of coffee should I put in the coffee maker?" (Thanks, Deena!) to, "What do I wear to a professional luncheon?" to, "What can I expect from grad school?". The list goes on and on of the things I have learned this summer... and its not over yet.
I really have learned a ton. But even if I hadn't learned anything else, I would say that this summer has taught me to trust God for the next steps. I have come to see that God really has equipped me for this stage in life, and He is absolutely going to put me where He wants me next. I just have to try to sit back and enjoy the ride. Of course, that doesn't mean I won't have to work for it. But I know He is opening the right doors in His timing.
All that being said, I would like to add that I cannot wait to see all of my friends and family in less than three weeks! What a blessing you all are to me! Thanks for all of your prayers and letters and messages and phone calls. I am so blessed to have friends and family like you all!
One more thing: Check out some of these links about the ministries responsible for the conference...
http://www.relatedchurches.com/
www.churchofthehighlands.com/welcome
and as soon as I can figure out how to link a picture that Whitney took of us, I'll post that too!
I got to tag a long with our Director of Development to a conference on social media for Pastors and church leaders. The conference was in Birmingham, Alabama, and we all know I love a good road trip. And to say the least, this was a very good road trip!
Whitney and I started the day (very early) with a strong cup of coffee and a car loaded FULL of books to give away at the conference. The thing that made the conference so awesome was that the type of church represented was exactly the type that would be interested in learning about Mercy. The people there were learning how to use social media to reach a young generation immersed (and enmeshed?) in technology. This young generation needs a church that is willing to meet them where they are and use new techniques to teach the timeless truths about who Christ is. So exciting to see a group of leaders with hearts for Christ engaging the culture!
So many people came up to our booth today wanting to know how a program with our level of results could operate without accepting government money... or how girls with such extreme experiences could really be healed and redeemed... or how THEY could get involved. The fact that every person there represented a new, thriving, growing church was so exciting. It was great to share the vision and mission of Mercy with so many people, eager to learn. We gave out dozens of books based on the counseling model used at Mercy. The books will be used at churches around the U.S. to counsel girls who struggle with eating disorders, self harm, addictions and sexual abuse. I know that God is going to move in some amazing ways through the resources shared today.
And plus, it was a total blast to network with church leaders from all over who have such a passion to see the church really come together and be the body of Christ. Wow!
It was also great for me to get to spend a ton of time talking with and learning from Whitney. I value so much her (and everyone at Mercy's) willingness to teach me things... I mean, from the basics of, "How many scoops of coffee should I put in the coffee maker?" (Thanks, Deena!) to, "What do I wear to a professional luncheon?" to, "What can I expect from grad school?". The list goes on and on of the things I have learned this summer... and its not over yet.
I really have learned a ton. But even if I hadn't learned anything else, I would say that this summer has taught me to trust God for the next steps. I have come to see that God really has equipped me for this stage in life, and He is absolutely going to put me where He wants me next. I just have to try to sit back and enjoy the ride. Of course, that doesn't mean I won't have to work for it. But I know He is opening the right doors in His timing.
All that being said, I would like to add that I cannot wait to see all of my friends and family in less than three weeks! What a blessing you all are to me! Thanks for all of your prayers and letters and messages and phone calls. I am so blessed to have friends and family like you all!
One more thing: Check out some of these links about the ministries responsible for the conference...
http://www.relatedchurches.com/
www.churchofthehighlands.com/welcome
and as soon as I can figure out how to link a picture that Whitney took of us, I'll post that too!
Friday, July 3, 2009
Granma's Easy as Ice-Box Peanut Butter Pie
Oh, the Joy of Baking!
I woke up to a cooler-than-usual morning in Tennessee, today. All of the doors and windows stood open when I got out of bed, but by mid-afternoon, the cool of morning had evaporated and it became uncomfortably warm. An A/C repair man was hard at work when I returned from the store and I realized, it hadn't been my imagination... something was wrong with the A/C.
Though I had wanted to bake something special for the holiday, the thought of adding heat to this house was oppressive.
So instead, I remembered a pie that my granma makes. It's one of my brothers' favorite pies and to me, it just tastes like family traditions. It was the perfect solution to summer heat, my serious sweet tooth and the low level homesickness that I have been battling on and off all summer:
I woke up to a cooler-than-usual morning in Tennessee, today. All of the doors and windows stood open when I got out of bed, but by mid-afternoon, the cool of morning had evaporated and it became uncomfortably warm. An A/C repair man was hard at work when I returned from the store and I realized, it hadn't been my imagination... something was wrong with the A/C.
Though I had wanted to bake something special for the holiday, the thought of adding heat to this house was oppressive.
So instead, I remembered a pie that my granma makes. It's one of my brothers' favorite pies and to me, it just tastes like family traditions. It was the perfect solution to summer heat, my serious sweet tooth and the low level homesickness that I have been battling on and off all summer:
Granma's Easy as Ice-box Peanut Butter Pie
1. 8 oz Cream Cheese
2. 1 Cup Confectioner's Sugar
3. 1/2 Cup Milk
4. 3/4 Cup Crunchy Peanut Butter
5. 13 1/2 oz Cool Whip
(You want the Cream Cheese and Cool Whip to be just under room temperature, so leave 'em on the counter while you're getting ready. That way they blend easier.)
Also: two pre-made graham cracker pie shells.
- These are easy to make from scratch if you don't mind baking a little bit. Just crush (or buy pre-crushed) graham crackers until you have about 2 Cups worth, melt a stick of butter, mix together with a fork and add whatever sugars or spices you like. Mush into place in a 9 in. pie pan and then bake for about 15 minutes at 350, or until it smells strongly of butter. Mmmm!
There is absolutely nothing complicated about this pie. That's what I love about it. From start to finish, you can have a mostly home made PNB pie in about 30 minutes. Delicious! Of course, you'll want to plan on freezing it for about an hour, or if you have plenty of time, just leave it in the fridge and it should firm up just fine.
1. Combine and blend the cream cheese, confectioner's sugar and milk.
2. Add the Peanut butter, mix well
3. Fold in the Cool Whip. (Needless to say, it 'folds' much easier if it isn't frozen!)
4. Pour into pie crust and top with whatever you like. I used a cheese grater to top mine with some chocolate flakes. It kind of made a mess, but its delicious! Just remember that its nearly impossible to grate (Or handle at all) regular chocolate. You need to use baking chocolate. That may seems obvious to some, but for those of us that are just learning as we go, its a helpful tip. From experience, I can say that a regular chocolate bar will become a melt-y, mushy, mess long before you can even get it out of the package.
With a nice topping of grated chocolate, or chopped nuts, or chocolate syrup (Or all three!), this pie can look pretty special. And presentation is everything! Well, almost. Taste doesn't hurt either!
BY THE WAY: This recipe makes two pies. Which, if you ask me, is even better. One for me here in the cabin, and one to share!
Baking- or I guess I should say 'assembling'- this pie reminds me of family so much. Its a comforting ritual... doing somehting familiar and standing near the freezer in the heat of July. How refreshing! It just feels good. I hope that all of you have wonderful Fourth of July weekends, enjoying friends and family and the Freedom that makes this Nation unlike any other.
"How good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell together in Unity" -Praise the Lord!
-Psalm 133:1
I Love My Job
The greatest thing happened yesterday.
I was working at LifeWay, and this lady brought a board game up to purchase. When I rang it up, it was 90% off, only $3.00. Wow! So I looked at it...
And it was "The Settlers of Canaan"!!! The Churchy version of "Settlers of Catan". And seeing as how I have some very special friends that love this game, I had to buy the last one we had in the store. I was trying not to burst out laughing in the face of the woman who was actually buying it for herself. Maybe she thought it was hilarious too, but was trying to hide her amusement, just like me.
That is ridiculously awesome. Maybe more ridiculous than awesome, but still, definitely worth getting exited about.
I hope to play this game someday with those wonderful friends that introduced the original version to me a couple of months ago. What could be better??
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
The past few weeks...
So much has been happening lately! And every time I think that I should post a blog about something, I get distracted by something NEW! So I thought I would give a brief overview of my life as of the last few weeks.
Lets see, where was I? Well, since I last posted, I was given two FREE tickets to the CMA Festival (Country Music Heaven!) by my wonderful roommate! It was crazy to see how huge the event was, and I even got to see Brooks and Dunn and then Reba perform before it got rained out. So that was awesome!
Things at Mercy have been really busy. Although I don’t do much planning type of stuff, I get to sit in on the planning meetings, which has been so cool. I definitely feel like I am gaining some insight on event planning. There is a 5k coming up in October that will benefit the Nashville home… I’m really trying to make it back up so that I can run in it! Check out this link to see a picture of the planning committee… These women are amazing! http://twitpic.com/7sv34
This last weekend there was a HUGE charity softball event, hosted by Jeff Fischer, the head coach of the Tennessee Titans. He and the Titans are long time supporters of Mercy… they donate $10,000 per win! So everyone at Mercy really loves the Titans! The event was a huge success, with a much larger turn out than in years past. Since Mercy was one of the beneficiaries, I got to go and man the booth! It was reeeeaally hot. Although I’m sure that those of you in Florida feel no pity for me! Check out a picture (and Nancy Alcorn’s Blog) of the event here at http://nancyalcorn.blogspot.com/ I’m in a picture in the slide show… go ahead and laugh at how short I am! I know, I’m tiny!
As of today, I have some exciting news… I got a haircut. I feel so Nashville.
(Ok Lindsay, you called it, I just had to blog about it!)
And tonight was awesome. After work Lindsay, Stacie and I went to a Songwriter showcase with her parents at the Rutledge in downtown Nashville. As I’m sure you can all imagine, I was psyched to be checking out the music scene! Not only did I get to hear some awesome music (Audrey Assad, check her out, this girl’s got some pipes http://www.myspace.com/audreyassadsings !!) I also ran into a friend from my small group in Tallahassee that is interning in Nashville for the summer, too. Too weird! I mean, what are the chances?? Anyway… Things are going great. I really do love it here. And everyday is an adventure!
Lets see, where was I? Well, since I last posted, I was given two FREE tickets to the CMA Festival (Country Music Heaven!) by my wonderful roommate! It was crazy to see how huge the event was, and I even got to see Brooks and Dunn and then Reba perform before it got rained out. So that was awesome!
Things at Mercy have been really busy. Although I don’t do much planning type of stuff, I get to sit in on the planning meetings, which has been so cool. I definitely feel like I am gaining some insight on event planning. There is a 5k coming up in October that will benefit the Nashville home… I’m really trying to make it back up so that I can run in it! Check out this link to see a picture of the planning committee… These women are amazing! http://twitpic.com/7sv34
This last weekend there was a HUGE charity softball event, hosted by Jeff Fischer, the head coach of the Tennessee Titans. He and the Titans are long time supporters of Mercy… they donate $10,000 per win! So everyone at Mercy really loves the Titans! The event was a huge success, with a much larger turn out than in years past. Since Mercy was one of the beneficiaries, I got to go and man the booth! It was reeeeaally hot. Although I’m sure that those of you in Florida feel no pity for me! Check out a picture (and Nancy Alcorn’s Blog) of the event here at http://nancyalcorn.blogspot.com/ I’m in a picture in the slide show… go ahead and laugh at how short I am! I know, I’m tiny!
As of today, I have some exciting news… I got a haircut. I feel so Nashville.
(Ok Lindsay, you called it, I just had to blog about it!)
And tonight was awesome. After work Lindsay, Stacie and I went to a Songwriter showcase with her parents at the Rutledge in downtown Nashville. As I’m sure you can all imagine, I was psyched to be checking out the music scene! Not only did I get to hear some awesome music (Audrey Assad, check her out, this girl’s got some pipes http://www.myspace.com/audreyassadsings !!) I also ran into a friend from my small group in Tallahassee that is interning in Nashville for the summer, too. Too weird! I mean, what are the chances?? Anyway… Things are going great. I really do love it here. And everyday is an adventure!
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Danas-Double-Take
The fireflies were out tonight. They reminded me of a rafting trip I went on when I was in middle school. That was the first time I had been to Tennessee. I remember being astonished that the sun didn’t set until nine, and that a subtle coolness moved in with the evening air. And the fireflies were pretty great too. They floated a couple feet above the ground, clumsily bobbing up and down, here and there; disappearing after every flash of light. Now, just like then, they capture my wandering attention.
Nostalgia runs pretty thick this time of dusk. I can’t seem hold myself in this moment for long. I keep thinking about what’s next. I don’t want to go home. Mostly because I can’t figure out where home is. I feel again the aching of uncertainty. All at once I’m fifteen again. Moving cities; Missing friends; Lost in the middle of everything changing. I remember exactly what it felt like then.
I remember the pain of moving as a teenager, lost in my own little world. One day after moving to Tampa, my mom gave me a CD and a card. The CD was Shane and Shane ‘Upstairs’. I still love the Shanes, even though I lost the CD a while back. I remember feeling understood and comforted. A spark of hope. A small encouragement. It means a lot to be understood.
I know I can’t hold on to the past. I can barely get a grip on now. And yet, every time I think about what the future holds, I am torn between chasing every possibility, leaping towards the adventure I want for myself, and wanting to curl up in bed and hide from whatever ‘next step’ I need to take.
Tonight I was trying to understand myself. Why can’t I just pick something to want and chase it? Where ever I go, I know I’m going to feel homesick. For people, for places, for just the warm-blanket feeling of Home.
Tonight as the sun went down behind the big tree in the yard, the birds stopped chirping for a moment and let the crickets take full stage. ‘Maybe this feels like home.’ I thought.
After thinking all of this through, I stood up and walked back inside. Connie was standing in the kitchen. She had brought me a something from her work. At WorldVision, they have artists support their ministry by encouraging their fans to sponsor children. And Shane and Shane happen to be one of their best supporters.
‘I thought you might like this CD,’ She said.
It was Shane and Shane ‘Upstairs’. When I saw it, my eyes filled with tears. I couldn’t believe it was the same CD. I remembered the compassion that my mom had shown me as a teenager, and the peace I had felt knowing that in my confusion, God would be glorified. Connie's act of kindness reminded me of that. And in this season, I have that same confidence.
Nostalgia runs pretty thick this time of dusk. I can’t seem hold myself in this moment for long. I keep thinking about what’s next. I don’t want to go home. Mostly because I can’t figure out where home is. I feel again the aching of uncertainty. All at once I’m fifteen again. Moving cities; Missing friends; Lost in the middle of everything changing. I remember exactly what it felt like then.
I remember the pain of moving as a teenager, lost in my own little world. One day after moving to Tampa, my mom gave me a CD and a card. The CD was Shane and Shane ‘Upstairs’. I still love the Shanes, even though I lost the CD a while back. I remember feeling understood and comforted. A spark of hope. A small encouragement. It means a lot to be understood.
I know I can’t hold on to the past. I can barely get a grip on now. And yet, every time I think about what the future holds, I am torn between chasing every possibility, leaping towards the adventure I want for myself, and wanting to curl up in bed and hide from whatever ‘next step’ I need to take.
Tonight I was trying to understand myself. Why can’t I just pick something to want and chase it? Where ever I go, I know I’m going to feel homesick. For people, for places, for just the warm-blanket feeling of Home.
Tonight as the sun went down behind the big tree in the yard, the birds stopped chirping for a moment and let the crickets take full stage. ‘Maybe this feels like home.’ I thought.
After thinking all of this through, I stood up and walked back inside. Connie was standing in the kitchen. She had brought me a something from her work. At WorldVision, they have artists support their ministry by encouraging their fans to sponsor children. And Shane and Shane happen to be one of their best supporters.
‘I thought you might like this CD,’ She said.
It was Shane and Shane ‘Upstairs’. When I saw it, my eyes filled with tears. I couldn’t believe it was the same CD. I remembered the compassion that my mom had shown me as a teenager, and the peace I had felt knowing that in my confusion, God would be glorified. Connie's act of kindness reminded me of that. And in this season, I have that same confidence.
Last night, Point of Grace performed a private concert for those that raised the most money through the Run For Mercy (www.runformercy.com) event in April. Staff (and luckily for me, Interns) were invited to come enjoy the concert as well! I have never been a huge fan of Point of Grace, but I first heard about Mercy at one of their concerts, so I was excited to go and see it.
The girls were awesome! They have had an amazing career so far and it just comes from the fact that they are such talented women! Check out the link to see them on YouTube... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Ny6CelLPlM This is their new single!
The girls were awesome! They have had an amazing career so far and it just comes from the fact that they are such talented women! Check out the link to see them on YouTube... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Ny6CelLPlM This is their new single!
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Dana-Down-Town
I have not begun compiling a list of reasons that Franklin is a great area to live, but if I had, this picture would make the top of the list.
Today, Stacie and Lindsay (New Mercy Intern/Friend) and I met up in down town Franklin for some cupcakes and window shopping. Such a cute area! If I ever get to open up a bakery, I'd want it to look and feel and TASTE a lot like this place!
http://www.franklinmercantile.com/
There is a Starbucks, antique book store, several ice cream shops, and cute little boutiques with over priced clothing, cook ware and accessories. Everything a picturesque down town needs!
Note: In other news, I have resorted to taking pictures of things on my phone and sending them to my email. Actually, its working out fine... its just a little odd.
Today, Stacie and Lindsay (New Mercy Intern/Friend) and I met up in down town Franklin for some cupcakes and window shopping. Such a cute area! If I ever get to open up a bakery, I'd want it to look and feel and TASTE a lot like this place!
http://www.franklinmercantile.com/
There is a Starbucks, antique book store, several ice cream shops, and cute little boutiques with over priced clothing, cook ware and accessories. Everything a picturesque down town needs!
Note: In other news, I have resorted to taking pictures of things on my phone and sending them to my email. Actually, its working out fine... its just a little odd.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Dana-And-The-Boss
Yesterday, Nancy was speaking at the girls’ home and let the staff know that all were invited to sit in, if they had time to spare. Being that I’m an intern without too many pressing responsibilities (and all I really HAVE is time), I got to go. I was really excited to hear Nancy speak.
Nancy is in and out of town all the time. She travels a lot, speaking at different conferences and checking up on different Mercy Homes around the world. What a crazy lifestyle!
I was wondering, kind of hopefully, if she would recognize me. I have been interning at Mercy for over a month and have only even seen Nancy one other time. Needless to say, she didn’t see me. Although I expected for a repeat of the last time she saw me, I knew that Coach Sue (FSU’s women’s basketball coach and Nancy’s BFF4L) was in town, too. Since Sue was the reason I even got the internship at Mercy, I was thinking that my chance of being acknowledged by one or both of these awesome ladies was better than average.
As soon as I walked over to the home (I intern at the corporate office next door), I was greeted by the house manager. I introduced myself and stepped inside, feeling pretty awkward, unsure of where I should stand and who I should talk to. I took a couple steps into the foyer and a girl introduced herself to me as a new summer intern at the home! I was really excited to meet her and know that I wasn’t the only newby.
We made our way into the conference-room-area and sat down. Not long after, Nancy appeared in the door way along with Coach Sue and two girls from the FSU basketball team.
Haha, at this point I was trying to pretend like I didn’t care that Nancy and Sue were there when I just really wanted to jump up and say, “Hey!! Hey! Remember me?! Remember when we met that one time?!!” Did I mention how intimidating this woman is?
I was playing it cool. Haha! THEN… Nancy said, “Is Dana Crow in here?”
“I’m right here,” I said. I was sitting, literally, right next to where she was standing.
“Oh! Hi, I didn’t recognize you!” She gave me a hug and then reintroduced me to Sue and the basketball girls. They were there checking out Mercy to see if they would want to intern next summer. I was so excited that Nancy acknowledged me. And that definitely would have been enough. But theeenn….
Nancy walked to the front of the room. There were about 40 residents, plus ten or fifteen of the staff present. She began by telling the crazy God-story of how Nancy and I met on FSU’s campus.* It was cool to hear Nancy’s side of the story. THEN, she asked my director, Whitney to come up and tell a little about what I do as an intern. I was sitting there thinking that it was crazy that Nancy was spending so much time talking about me, when all of a sudden, Whitney said, “Dana, would you like to come up and say something?’
Uuuhh. Seriously? Hah!
I wasn’t sure if Whitney was just trying to be polite or find an easy way to end this little segment about me, or if she really wanted me to come up there.
“Do you want me to?” I said.
“If you want to.” She said. Oh my gosh. So, I decided to go up front and say… something. I guess that it’s usually better to take your chances in this sort of situation than to not say anything just because you’re scared.
So Whitney handed me the mic. (I think the microphone made me more nervous than anything. I mean, really? It seems a little unnecessary, but I guess there is a recording somewhere of this whole event.) She whispered. “Just tell where you’re from and what year you are in school and stuff.” So, I did. I also added some about how this summer was really an adventure for me, and that God had really opened doors for me to just be here this summer. Sue and Nancy then started asking me questions about what I planned to do after graduation, suggesting graduate schools and stuff.
I was really glad to sit down. I was also really glad that I had gotten to reconnect with Sue and Nancy. Those are definitely two connections that I want to maintain. What awesome ladies! And what a crazy morning! All this before lunch!
* There may be some people reading my blog who don’t know the story of how I met Nancy and this internship thing worked out. So I thought I would put a short summary of how that all happened. One Thursday, I was at Edge. Edge is the weekly lunch for a dollar held at the Baptist Collegiate Ministry on campus at FSU. There is usually a speaker… someone from campus or the community who just talks for five or ten minutes. About a year and a half ago, Coach Sue was speaking. Little did I know that her best friend is Nancy Alcorn, Founder and president of Mercy Ministries. And little did I know that Nancy would be there that day, visiting her friend and chilling in the back of the room on a couch.
I had read a bunch of Nancy’s books because she had spoken at a conference I went to FIVE years ago. (God’s pretty faithful, huh?) I was still interested in Mercy and actually had recently been looking into trying to intern there, but wasn’t really figuring out how to get started in the process. So, after Sue was done speaking, I went up to Nancy and basically said, “OhmygoshyoureNancyAlcorncanIcomeinternforyouplease?” And the rest in history.
Nancy is in and out of town all the time. She travels a lot, speaking at different conferences and checking up on different Mercy Homes around the world. What a crazy lifestyle!
I was wondering, kind of hopefully, if she would recognize me. I have been interning at Mercy for over a month and have only even seen Nancy one other time. Needless to say, she didn’t see me. Although I expected for a repeat of the last time she saw me, I knew that Coach Sue (FSU’s women’s basketball coach and Nancy’s BFF4L) was in town, too. Since Sue was the reason I even got the internship at Mercy, I was thinking that my chance of being acknowledged by one or both of these awesome ladies was better than average.
As soon as I walked over to the home (I intern at the corporate office next door), I was greeted by the house manager. I introduced myself and stepped inside, feeling pretty awkward, unsure of where I should stand and who I should talk to. I took a couple steps into the foyer and a girl introduced herself to me as a new summer intern at the home! I was really excited to meet her and know that I wasn’t the only newby.
We made our way into the conference-room-area and sat down. Not long after, Nancy appeared in the door way along with Coach Sue and two girls from the FSU basketball team.
Haha, at this point I was trying to pretend like I didn’t care that Nancy and Sue were there when I just really wanted to jump up and say, “Hey!! Hey! Remember me?! Remember when we met that one time?!!” Did I mention how intimidating this woman is?
I was playing it cool. Haha! THEN… Nancy said, “Is Dana Crow in here?”
“I’m right here,” I said. I was sitting, literally, right next to where she was standing.
“Oh! Hi, I didn’t recognize you!” She gave me a hug and then reintroduced me to Sue and the basketball girls. They were there checking out Mercy to see if they would want to intern next summer. I was so excited that Nancy acknowledged me. And that definitely would have been enough. But theeenn….
Nancy walked to the front of the room. There were about 40 residents, plus ten or fifteen of the staff present. She began by telling the crazy God-story of how Nancy and I met on FSU’s campus.* It was cool to hear Nancy’s side of the story. THEN, she asked my director, Whitney to come up and tell a little about what I do as an intern. I was sitting there thinking that it was crazy that Nancy was spending so much time talking about me, when all of a sudden, Whitney said, “Dana, would you like to come up and say something?’
Uuuhh. Seriously? Hah!
I wasn’t sure if Whitney was just trying to be polite or find an easy way to end this little segment about me, or if she really wanted me to come up there.
“Do you want me to?” I said.
“If you want to.” She said. Oh my gosh. So, I decided to go up front and say… something. I guess that it’s usually better to take your chances in this sort of situation than to not say anything just because you’re scared.
So Whitney handed me the mic. (I think the microphone made me more nervous than anything. I mean, really? It seems a little unnecessary, but I guess there is a recording somewhere of this whole event.) She whispered. “Just tell where you’re from and what year you are in school and stuff.” So, I did. I also added some about how this summer was really an adventure for me, and that God had really opened doors for me to just be here this summer. Sue and Nancy then started asking me questions about what I planned to do after graduation, suggesting graduate schools and stuff.
I was really glad to sit down. I was also really glad that I had gotten to reconnect with Sue and Nancy. Those are definitely two connections that I want to maintain. What awesome ladies! And what a crazy morning! All this before lunch!
* There may be some people reading my blog who don’t know the story of how I met Nancy and this internship thing worked out. So I thought I would put a short summary of how that all happened. One Thursday, I was at Edge. Edge is the weekly lunch for a dollar held at the Baptist Collegiate Ministry on campus at FSU. There is usually a speaker… someone from campus or the community who just talks for five or ten minutes. About a year and a half ago, Coach Sue was speaking. Little did I know that her best friend is Nancy Alcorn, Founder and president of Mercy Ministries. And little did I know that Nancy would be there that day, visiting her friend and chilling in the back of the room on a couch.
I had read a bunch of Nancy’s books because she had spoken at a conference I went to FIVE years ago. (God’s pretty faithful, huh?) I was still interested in Mercy and actually had recently been looking into trying to intern there, but wasn’t really figuring out how to get started in the process. So, after Sue was done speaking, I went up to Nancy and basically said, “OhmygoshyoureNancyAlcorncanIcomeinternforyouplease?” And the rest in history.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Dana-And-The-Deer
(So this happened a couple days ago, but I’m just posting it now… thought I’d let you know!)
So, here I am, sitting on the back porch of the cabin, reading my bible, eating an apple, chilling. Take some time to just be jealous for a moment. Done? Ok, we can move on.
When, I hear a rustling noise. I look over to the road and see a deer standing in the road. Hello! A deer!
So I’m thinking, ‘Oh my gosh. A deer.’ And then, ‘Am I about to witness this deer being hit by a car?’ that would be a little traumatic, to say the least, for me. Not to mention how upset the deer would be!
A car came and the deer gracefully leapt across the little dried up creek into the back yard of the cabin. The cabin where I live! Hello! Its like 40 feet away. Whoah.
Then it stands there a moment, looks around and walks into the woods. I’m still kinda in shock from all this when all of a sudden ANOTHER deer leaps into the yard, following his little deer buddy. This time it occurs to me to take a picture, but of course, all I have is my little camera-phone.
So I took the picture, and the deer looks tiny, but I’m hoping you can still tell what it is and fully appreciate this event in my life. I can’t believe these deer were so close up. I’m thinking alternatively, ‘Wow, God is so good, I got to hang out with deer today’, and ‘I straight up live in the woods.’ I guess both reactions are pretty appropriate.
Psalm 42:1-2 “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the Living God.”
So, here I am, sitting on the back porch of the cabin, reading my bible, eating an apple, chilling. Take some time to just be jealous for a moment. Done? Ok, we can move on.
When, I hear a rustling noise. I look over to the road and see a deer standing in the road. Hello! A deer!
So I’m thinking, ‘Oh my gosh. A deer.’ And then, ‘Am I about to witness this deer being hit by a car?’ that would be a little traumatic, to say the least, for me. Not to mention how upset the deer would be!
A car came and the deer gracefully leapt across the little dried up creek into the back yard of the cabin. The cabin where I live! Hello! Its like 40 feet away. Whoah.
Then it stands there a moment, looks around and walks into the woods. I’m still kinda in shock from all this when all of a sudden ANOTHER deer leaps into the yard, following his little deer buddy. This time it occurs to me to take a picture, but of course, all I have is my little camera-phone.
So I took the picture, and the deer looks tiny, but I’m hoping you can still tell what it is and fully appreciate this event in my life. I can’t believe these deer were so close up. I’m thinking alternatively, ‘Wow, God is so good, I got to hang out with deer today’, and ‘I straight up live in the woods.’ I guess both reactions are pretty appropriate.
Psalm 42:1-2 “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the Living God.”
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Dana-Asks-Around
For me, every day in Nashville is filled with questions. Sometimes I ask other people the questions I have, or just wonder them aloud. For example, today at Mercy I asked out loud, “I wonder whose cupcakes those are?” a lady in the office informed that another woman had brought them in to share. In this instance, it definitely paid off to voice my question. Mmm, cupcake!
But other questions, I keep to myself. And let me be clear: I have a TON of questions. The following is a list of questions that I have asked myself more than once… if not everyday, since coming to Nashville three weeks ago. I warn you, its weird, its awkward, but its real.
-Where am I?
-Am I underdressed?
-Am I overdressed?
-Do these people think I’m crazy?
-Do these people think I’m 16?
-Do these people assume I have an eating disorder?
-Do I have food in my teeth?
-Do I have to eat this to be polite?
-How did I get so far away from where I was trying to go?!
-What if my phone dies?
-What if my car dies?
-What if I get lost in the woods, and I die?!
-What if I get bitten by a brown recluse spider?
-Why am I living in a Log Cabin?
-Is 431 the same road as 31? (NO, it isn’t!)
-Am I in Kentucky?
-What is a convection oven?
-When am I gonna get to see Nancy?
-What do I do after Nashville?
-What do I do after I graduate?
-What am I going to do with my life?!
-Where the HECK am I?
This is just a sampling, my friends, of the many questions that bounce around in my brain on a daily basis. As I said, some are solved best when asked out loud or to others. “Where am I?” is a great example.
Some are best left to ruminate in my head. Usually, they help me to laugh at myself after a while when I realize how silly they are. “Do these people think I’m crazy?”, “Do they think I’m 16?”, these questions don’t really matter in the long run.
Some though, I just take to God and try to leave there. When I start thinking about the future, or try to create some huge significant meaning to every action I take or relationship I form, I get overwhelmed. I have to take a deep breathe and realize that it’s ok to have questions.
The important thing to realize is what to do with those questions; to know which category they fall into. And to be able to let them go when they are just out of my hands.
And to be content that the most pressing questions are less about the future, and more about the right now.
But other questions, I keep to myself. And let me be clear: I have a TON of questions. The following is a list of questions that I have asked myself more than once… if not everyday, since coming to Nashville three weeks ago. I warn you, its weird, its awkward, but its real.
-Where am I?
-Am I underdressed?
-Am I overdressed?
-Do these people think I’m crazy?
-Do these people think I’m 16?
-Do these people assume I have an eating disorder?
-Do I have food in my teeth?
-Do I have to eat this to be polite?
-How did I get so far away from where I was trying to go?!
-What if my phone dies?
-What if my car dies?
-What if I get lost in the woods, and I die?!
-What if I get bitten by a brown recluse spider?
-Why am I living in a Log Cabin?
-Is 431 the same road as 31? (NO, it isn’t!)
-Am I in Kentucky?
-What is a convection oven?
-When am I gonna get to see Nancy?
-What do I do after Nashville?
-What do I do after I graduate?
-What am I going to do with my life?!
-Where the HECK am I?
This is just a sampling, my friends, of the many questions that bounce around in my brain on a daily basis. As I said, some are solved best when asked out loud or to others. “Where am I?” is a great example.
Some are best left to ruminate in my head. Usually, they help me to laugh at myself after a while when I realize how silly they are. “Do these people think I’m crazy?”, “Do they think I’m 16?”, these questions don’t really matter in the long run.
Some though, I just take to God and try to leave there. When I start thinking about the future, or try to create some huge significant meaning to every action I take or relationship I form, I get overwhelmed. I have to take a deep breathe and realize that it’s ok to have questions.
The important thing to realize is what to do with those questions; to know which category they fall into. And to be able to let them go when they are just out of my hands.
And to be content that the most pressing questions are less about the future, and more about the right now.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Dana-Pecan-Pie
I have been in Nashville for nearly three weeks and today I baked the first pie of the summer.
I just so love to bake. I can’t really explain it. I think it’s just the act of creating something that I know people will enjoy. Its like, no matter if you show up late, look like a slob, and are even uninvited… people will be glad to see you if you bring baked goods. Ha ha, so maybe I bake to ensure that I’ll be welcomed wherever I go. Or maybe not.
Well, for those of you who miss me (and me baking you things on a weekly basis!) I have decided to reveal my top secret recipe for my favorite pie. Here it goes folks, I hope you can enjoy it as much as I do!
Dana’s Favorite Chocolate Pecan Pie
Crust: I find that the one thing that will put a homemade pie into a category all its own is if the crust is made from scratch. Its worth the extra effort.
¾ Cup cold, unsalted butter, cut into ½ in. pieces
2 Cups all purpose flour
¼ Cup granulated sugar
¼ teaspoon salt
1/3 Cup of ice cold water
Mix the dry ingredients, then use a food processor, pastry blender, or just your fingers to break up the butter and mix it into the flour. You’ll know that you are done with this step when the butter has changed from blocks of butter, into something more resembling flakes… I hope that makes sense.
When you get to this stage, its time to add the water. This part isn’t really a science. Just add a little water to the flour mixture at a time, then use your hands to try and get all of the flour-butter stuff to get some contact with the water. You’ll know you have added enough water when the dough can be molded into a ball without chunks falling off.
Then comes the fun part. Clean off a spot on the counter, sprinkle the counter, your rolling pin, and even the dough with more flour. Then roll the dough to about a 10 inch circle. This is when it’s important to remember that baking is a messy process. But so what? A damp cloth will clean up the flour when you are done. Just enjoy the mess!
People make up all kinda of techniques on how to get the dough into the pie pan. Seriously, I just pick it up and lay it in there as quick as I can. If it tears, I just mush it back together. No big deal.
Filling: This is my favorite thing about this pie. It is so simple to make! Fruit pies take forever to peel/slice/sautee/whatever! Just mix these ingredients together, and you are totally ready.
2/3 Cup granulated sugar
1/3 Cup butter, MELTED
1 Cup corn syrup (I use Light Karo syrup)
2 Tablespoons bourbon
½ teaspoon salt (I usually just throw in a ‘pinch’)
3 Eggs
1 Cup pecan halves
1 Cup semi-sweet chocolate
In a large bowl, beat the sugar, butter, corn syrup, bourbon, salt and eggs with a hand mixer. Unless you happened to overheat your hand mixer in a terrible oatmeal cookie accident. In this case, its probably ok to just mix it as intensely as possible with a wisk or fork. Or whatever. It’ll be good… don’t worry!
Note: Adding the bourbon to this recipe makes it really stand out and have a depth of flavor that you don’t find in most chocolate-pecan pies. It really is the secret ingredient. That being said, it is an ingredient that has, sadly, been missing from most of my CPPs (Chocolate Pecan Pies) as of late. Only three more months till I can buy my OWN bourbon!
After you have that mixture of gooey-sugary goodness, you can then stir in the semi-sweet chocolate and the pecan halves. Once everything is stirred, just pour the filling into the crust, and put the whole thing into the oven at 375 degrees for 40-50 minutes. The pecans will float to the top of pie when they are baked, so don’t worry about it!
I’ll let you know what kind of precautions need to be take when using a convection oven… that’s what we have here in the Cabin. It should be quite an experience.
OH and one more thing. This pie can easily be undercooked, and it looses some of its appeal when its looks gross. I wish I could be more specific, but basically, just remember: You can always put it back in the oven.
I hope everyone enjoyed this Blog about CPP as much as I did. Wow, I enjoying talking (and typing) about baking almost as much as I enjoy actually doing it. This could be a very good discovery!
Sunday, May 17, 2009
A day in the life...
Tennessee has an aroma unlike any place I’ve been. It smells of honey suckle, jasmine, mowed grass and little league softball, all at once. It’s a smell that fills me with a feeling of hopefulness and anticipation.
Running around the hilly road the cabin is on gives me time to feel each moment and take in the day. It’s a time when my body can move, and my spirit can be still. As I start out, I am joyful at the coolness in the air and the boundless energy I feel as I practically bounce downhill.
Is it a creek or a brook that falls beside me? I’m not sure, but its presence alone makes me smile. I look around. To my right is a mountain; green and powerful against bright blue and white. To my left are homes, spread out among trees and fences. I find it shocking that there are really horses, goats, barns and front porches with winding front drives. Its beautiful.
Everything I see and feel and smell glorifies God. Growing up at the beach, I always saw the glory of the Lord in the consistency of the Gulf. Over and over waves break on the sand and say, ‘I will never fail. I will never fail. I’m forever faithful, I’m forever faithful’.
Now, as my feet pound and my forehead sweats, I am confronted by an all new facet of God’s nature.
Coming here for the summer was a huge leap of faith. As I run, I am asking myself and God, ‘Where am I going?’ I’ll run around the bend, up the hill, to the stop sign, then turn around and come back.
With the hill in sight, my legs start to burn. This is why I love to run. Though I’m not the fastest or the toughest, I still feel like I’ve accomplished something when I’m through. I feel capable and strong when I’ve pushed through a difficult run. And now, reaching the top of the hill, I’m pretty content.
Though I’m at peace, questions fill my head: ‘Why am I in Tennessee this summer? Where is this leading? How will I know God’s will for me in the next season of my life? God, I need answers!
I reach the stop sign and walk a couple of circles, then stretch my legs. I may not have paced myself the way I should have. The run back, I know, will be tougher. I catch my breath, check for cars, then start running again.
The terrain looks all new. The sun is at my back, warming my shoulders and slowly setting. Birds chirp and dive in front of me; red, blue, white, black. They are beautiful.
I hear the brook again and think about how blessed I am to be here. The mountain to my left stands tall and majestic. I am struck by the sudden need to worship God for imagining it, designing it, and speaking it into being. Wow. Why? And then I know. ‘Because I love you, thanks why.’
Glory to God!
I’ve gotten to meet so many amazing people so far. People that I admire, whose lives are similar to what I hope to have someday. I instinctively feel the need to struggle and strive to have a life that measures up. One that impresses others and commends my goodness to them. I want to feel capable and ‘all put together’. But I’m learning, if nothing else, that that isn’t the call God has for me. He has called me to follow, to be a girl after Him, not the world. Whatever is next for me, God knows. And truly, that’s enough. For now, its ok to have questions. But I’m overjoyed to get to see the beauty of God all around me. He calls me now to just keep running. Don’t stop, don’t slow, don’t fear. Just go.
I’m moved to tears by the magnitude of this call.
Surrounded by God’s faithfulness and beauty and the character of the people I am interacting with daily, I am challenged to look within myself. What do I find? I’m surprised to find pride and envy, anger and unforgiveness. They don’t belong in my heart, but God is cultivating a new heart in me. One of mercy, thankfulness and peace. One more like His.
I approach the last leg of my run. Its uphill, and I am feeling it. I can see the back yard with porch spring, bird feeder, oak tree and pile of firewood. Its almost unreal. My joy spills over into laughter. I don’t understand why God is so good to me.
I know times won’t always be like this. But while they are, I want to soak it up. I hope that I can be receptive and patient as I lean on God during this time. And when, not if, times get hard, I’ll know that God’s love is powerful, majestic and faithful. And he calls me to run on. Where ever it takes me.
Praise God!
Running around the hilly road the cabin is on gives me time to feel each moment and take in the day. It’s a time when my body can move, and my spirit can be still. As I start out, I am joyful at the coolness in the air and the boundless energy I feel as I practically bounce downhill.
Is it a creek or a brook that falls beside me? I’m not sure, but its presence alone makes me smile. I look around. To my right is a mountain; green and powerful against bright blue and white. To my left are homes, spread out among trees and fences. I find it shocking that there are really horses, goats, barns and front porches with winding front drives. Its beautiful.
Everything I see and feel and smell glorifies God. Growing up at the beach, I always saw the glory of the Lord in the consistency of the Gulf. Over and over waves break on the sand and say, ‘I will never fail. I will never fail. I’m forever faithful, I’m forever faithful’.
Now, as my feet pound and my forehead sweats, I am confronted by an all new facet of God’s nature.
Coming here for the summer was a huge leap of faith. As I run, I am asking myself and God, ‘Where am I going?’ I’ll run around the bend, up the hill, to the stop sign, then turn around and come back.
With the hill in sight, my legs start to burn. This is why I love to run. Though I’m not the fastest or the toughest, I still feel like I’ve accomplished something when I’m through. I feel capable and strong when I’ve pushed through a difficult run. And now, reaching the top of the hill, I’m pretty content.
Though I’m at peace, questions fill my head: ‘Why am I in Tennessee this summer? Where is this leading? How will I know God’s will for me in the next season of my life? God, I need answers!
I reach the stop sign and walk a couple of circles, then stretch my legs. I may not have paced myself the way I should have. The run back, I know, will be tougher. I catch my breath, check for cars, then start running again.
The terrain looks all new. The sun is at my back, warming my shoulders and slowly setting. Birds chirp and dive in front of me; red, blue, white, black. They are beautiful.
I hear the brook again and think about how blessed I am to be here. The mountain to my left stands tall and majestic. I am struck by the sudden need to worship God for imagining it, designing it, and speaking it into being. Wow. Why? And then I know. ‘Because I love you, thanks why.’
Glory to God!
I’ve gotten to meet so many amazing people so far. People that I admire, whose lives are similar to what I hope to have someday. I instinctively feel the need to struggle and strive to have a life that measures up. One that impresses others and commends my goodness to them. I want to feel capable and ‘all put together’. But I’m learning, if nothing else, that that isn’t the call God has for me. He has called me to follow, to be a girl after Him, not the world. Whatever is next for me, God knows. And truly, that’s enough. For now, its ok to have questions. But I’m overjoyed to get to see the beauty of God all around me. He calls me now to just keep running. Don’t stop, don’t slow, don’t fear. Just go.
I’m moved to tears by the magnitude of this call.
Surrounded by God’s faithfulness and beauty and the character of the people I am interacting with daily, I am challenged to look within myself. What do I find? I’m surprised to find pride and envy, anger and unforgiveness. They don’t belong in my heart, but God is cultivating a new heart in me. One of mercy, thankfulness and peace. One more like His.
I approach the last leg of my run. Its uphill, and I am feeling it. I can see the back yard with porch spring, bird feeder, oak tree and pile of firewood. Its almost unreal. My joy spills over into laughter. I don’t understand why God is so good to me.
I know times won’t always be like this. But while they are, I want to soak it up. I hope that I can be receptive and patient as I lean on God during this time. And when, not if, times get hard, I’ll know that God’s love is powerful, majestic and faithful. And he calls me to run on. Where ever it takes me.
Praise God!
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