Tennessee has an aroma unlike any place I’ve been. It smells of honey suckle, jasmine, mowed grass and little league softball, all at once. It’s a smell that fills me with a feeling of hopefulness and anticipation.
Running around the hilly road the cabin is on gives me time to feel each moment and take in the day. It’s a time when my body can move, and my spirit can be still. As I start out, I am joyful at the coolness in the air and the boundless energy I feel as I practically bounce downhill.
Is it a creek or a brook that falls beside me? I’m not sure, but its presence alone makes me smile. I look around. To my right is a mountain; green and powerful against bright blue and white. To my left are homes, spread out among trees and fences. I find it shocking that there are really horses, goats, barns and front porches with winding front drives. Its beautiful.
Everything I see and feel and smell glorifies God. Growing up at the beach, I always saw the glory of the Lord in the consistency of the Gulf. Over and over waves break on the sand and say, ‘I will never fail. I will never fail. I’m forever faithful, I’m forever faithful’.
Now, as my feet pound and my forehead sweats, I am confronted by an all new facet of God’s nature.
Coming here for the summer was a huge leap of faith. As I run, I am asking myself and God, ‘Where am I going?’ I’ll run around the bend, up the hill, to the stop sign, then turn around and come back.
With the hill in sight, my legs start to burn. This is why I love to run. Though I’m not the fastest or the toughest, I still feel like I’ve accomplished something when I’m through. I feel capable and strong when I’ve pushed through a difficult run. And now, reaching the top of the hill, I’m pretty content.
Though I’m at peace, questions fill my head: ‘Why am I in Tennessee this summer? Where is this leading? How will I know God’s will for me in the next season of my life? God, I need answers!
I reach the stop sign and walk a couple of circles, then stretch my legs. I may not have paced myself the way I should have. The run back, I know, will be tougher. I catch my breath, check for cars, then start running again.
The terrain looks all new. The sun is at my back, warming my shoulders and slowly setting. Birds chirp and dive in front of me; red, blue, white, black. They are beautiful.
I hear the brook again and think about how blessed I am to be here. The mountain to my left stands tall and majestic. I am struck by the sudden need to worship God for imagining it, designing it, and speaking it into being. Wow. Why? And then I know. ‘Because I love you, thanks why.’
Glory to God!
I’ve gotten to meet so many amazing people so far. People that I admire, whose lives are similar to what I hope to have someday. I instinctively feel the need to struggle and strive to have a life that measures up. One that impresses others and commends my goodness to them. I want to feel capable and ‘all put together’. But I’m learning, if nothing else, that that isn’t the call God has for me. He has called me to follow, to be a girl after Him, not the world. Whatever is next for me, God knows. And truly, that’s enough. For now, its ok to have questions. But I’m overjoyed to get to see the beauty of God all around me. He calls me now to just keep running. Don’t stop, don’t slow, don’t fear. Just go.
I’m moved to tears by the magnitude of this call.
Surrounded by God’s faithfulness and beauty and the character of the people I am interacting with daily, I am challenged to look within myself. What do I find? I’m surprised to find pride and envy, anger and unforgiveness. They don’t belong in my heart, but God is cultivating a new heart in me. One of mercy, thankfulness and peace. One more like His.
I approach the last leg of my run. Its uphill, and I am feeling it. I can see the back yard with porch spring, bird feeder, oak tree and pile of firewood. Its almost unreal. My joy spills over into laughter. I don’t understand why God is so good to me.
I know times won’t always be like this. But while they are, I want to soak it up. I hope that I can be receptive and patient as I lean on God during this time. And when, not if, times get hard, I’ll know that God’s love is powerful, majestic and faithful. And he calls me to run on. Where ever it takes me.
Praise God!
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Hey, thanks for keeping us updated! It sounds like God's already doing great things to bring you closer to Him everyday. There will always be times when the questions and uncertainties are going to fill your head, and God will simply call to you from around the corner. We can choose to stay where we are, pondering our situation and distracting ourselves from His voice. Or we can continue taking those small, shaky steps of faith, until we eventually get around the corner to the next great adventure that God has for us. No doubt there are times when it takes faith to be still and wait on God's timing. But I feel that the very meaning of faith involves movement, action; to go, to run towards Him, wherever that may be. Whether it's down the street to a neighbor's house, moving to Tennessee for the summer, or stepping out of a boat in the middle of a lake during a huge storm to walk and jump and dance with Him on the water. I'm excited to hear more about the things God's going to do to shake your world and build you up during your time there, and to see your heart of worship grow even closer to the heart of God. Take care ;-)
ReplyDeleteCrowsy,
ReplyDeleteDr. Reid would be so proud of your writing skills!! haha it's wonderful to hear more about your time in Tennessee. I hope continue to enjoy all of the time you spend there!
~Drinky